I am overwhelmed to the point of tears by the love I am drenched in, from so many aspects. I am so excited for my future that I can’t tell if I’m crying because it is going to be so beautiful and I am so excited for God to just bless the pooey outta me, for me to bless the pooey out of others through him. Or, if I’m crying out of impatience and fear. I am so in love. I don’t really talk about it publicly but y’all, I just want to scream it from the rooftops sometimes. I want to run away and live in love and spreading love and receiving love and giving love and not have to worry about what my next step is. I want to be so in sync with my Father’s footsteps that I don’t have to lay in bed at night crying in frustration with my inability to make decisions. I am so sick of relying on the assumptions of this world to make my decisions for me. I wish I had the courage and the ability from every angle to make the things happen that I want to happen. Today I am just so frustrated with myself. I am frustrated with my lack of trust and abundance of fear and my age and his limits and the weird attachment I have to where I am right now. I’m just stuck here under my covers drowning my thoughts with beautiful worship music and my doubting thoughts when I really should just be focusing on all the good I have and continue to receive and who I am in Christ and everything I know to be true.